Cultivating Peace -  A Personal & Interpersonal Practice

Peace may be perceived as a way of being in the world, as a way of life if you will. A way of being with ourselves - experiencing connection to and in alignment with our authentic selves and a sense of calm and content - and a way of being with others, a relational response via compassion. 

Now-a-days, it may be difficult at times to contemplate the existence of peace - never mind the idea of embodying it - in context of information we gather concerning our own social environments (i.e., direct/indirect knowledge of assaults/violence of numerous nature in our neighborhoods), direct/indirect exposure to malice perpetrated via social media and news narratives, relating to local, national and/or international socio-political turbulence as associated with cultural and political polarization (i.e., wars). Exposure to such interpersonal related adversities may influence a sense of social uncertainty and unsafety, anxiety, lack of empathy and misunderstanding, fear, anger, sadness and distrust and a kind of disconnect and disengagement from inner peace. 

How do we create and maintain a peaceful flow of existence these days? Recalling that there is intentional and random kindness in our world - close and far - that is not necessarily recounted in the news headlines and that news journalism is essentially about focusing on certain types of matters that happen (i.e., calamities) and certainly not all matters existing, definitely assists with supporting positivity, hope and optimism. Considering our frequent exposure to recurrent calamity related narratives, it is additionally imperative that we take breaks from such coverage and regularly keep tabs on how these narratives may be adversely influencing or skewing our perception of the unspoken and unexposed magnitude of good will and peace around the world and inevitably our optimism, hope and sense of inner peace.  

For inner peace, it is essential that we regularly anchor ourselves by practicing mindfulness, concentrating attention on and connection with our humanity through the lens of a compassionate, loving and empathetic inquiry in the present moment - appreciating the depth of each concentrated breath we take in (inhale) and of each breath we release (exhale), while attentively experiencing each somatic sensation and thoughts and feelings in flow. It is vital that we listen to (and certainly not judge), cultivate and trust in the truth of our present moment inner experiences (as relating to thoughts, feelings, somatic sensations) and we use these experiences as our compass in guiding our choices or decisions as we flow from being and becoming in life. Living and growing in alignment with our authentic selves and experiences invite balance, harmony and inner peace.  

The practice of mindfulness incites a ceaseless pathway of self-exploration and of unearthing self-awareness in the continual flow of our authentic selves in our unending being and becoming. Cultivating compassionate self-reflection of our internal states and reactions enriches our self-understanding and overall self-awareness and permits us to then utilize our inner wisdom as guidance for choices we make and actions we take to meet our acknowledged unique needs at any given time and for remaining aligned with our thoughts, values, feelings and integrity. The self-value and self-respect afforded to our attentiveness to our self-understanding is immeasurable and further serves to consideration of extended options for (independent and/or interpersonal) activities for us to participate in that resonate with our authentic selves, that assist us to grow and that enrich our sense of purpose, meaning and inner peace in our being and becoming. For inner peace, it is vital that we regularly value and prioritize our relationship with our authentic selves - as we value and prioritize other significant relations in our lives - in our flow of being and becoming. 

Approaching our self-awareness with unconditional self-acceptance, self-compassion and self-love - not detrimental self-criticism, social expectations or external validation - with kind enthusiasm and curiosity and with loving forgiveness of our human vulnerabilities and limitations may assist to free us of weighted burdens that we may have carried through the years and that may have served to hinder our inner and interpersonal connection necessary for inner peace. Often times, we may find ourselves preoccupied and burdened by past matters (of which we cannot change but can certainly choose to reflect on to derive helpful self-understanding from) and/or worrying about a particular misfortune possibly transpiring in the future (of which may never ensue) - in the meantime, we miss and cannot retrieve the peaceful opportunity of simply being present in the here-and-now and inviting inner peace. 

Our beliefs are potent influencers of change, growth, transformation and peace. Our thoughts have a grave role in how we understand, define and feel about ourselves, others and our world and the reality we create accordingly - this is not to deny the existential nature of our existence and the chaotic circumstances that may be tossed at us at any given time of which may influence ambiguity, risk, losses, angst and traumas. Nonetheless, the attitude - or mindset - we choose as response to any given circumstance may serve to offer and guide us with inner peace - i.e., to accept and act to change a situation where possible or to accept the situation and change our thinking to minimize or alleviate the suffering of the situation - or to take away our inner peace - i.e., by not accepting a particular circumstance, feeling helpless and avoidance. Whether in the face of challenges or heightened adversity, we can choose to embrace a realistic, optimistic and peace-oriented mindset. As such it is pivotal we maintain awareness of the nature of our thoughts and how they influence us (psychologically, emotionally, physiologically and behaviorally) and to shift them to constructive perspective taking before they derail and lure as away from inner peace. 

Stress and anxiety may lure us away from our inner peace when not managed effectively. Maintaining our inner peace involves making a commitment to regularly value ourselves via self-care: To assure we maintain quality sleep, nutritional intake and exercise; to regularly engage in compassionate, thoughtful and encouraging inner dialogue; to incite our courage to live with perspective taking and optimism; to simply accept, observe and symbolically let go or release strenuous thoughts (of circumstances not within our control), problem solve in circumstances of which we have influence to change or simply to take breaks from such stress/anxiety inducing thoughts through engagement in some enjoyable activity; to acknowledge and appreciate our worth and value and remind ourselves of our spectacular qualities and accomplishments; to recognize our desires, aspirations and necessities/needs via self-awareness and to take steps to have them met; to evaluate and modify (as needed) our expectations of ourselves - so not to detrimentally strive for unrealistic or unconstructive perfectionist expectations - and to consider areas of further growth we would like to attain and to act on it; to set personal/social related boundaries as needed that respect our needs at a given time; and to engage in healthy, enjoyable, relaxing, self- nurturing, replenishing and energizing independent or social activities. We may experience inner peace as well by choosing to write a letter to ourselves every so often about any number of areas: What we value greatly and have gratitude for in our lives; areas of resilience and growth we attained through the years; and the nature of relationship we aspire to have with ourselves and how to attain this. When engaging in self-care, we are not only cultivating inner peace, but cultivating the ability to radiate compassion and peace in response to others. 

One of the first legendary philosophers/scholar to propose our innate social nature and the importance and influence of positive social interaction and connection was the ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle. Research in numerous fields has supported the notion of social connections throughout our existence having influence on our overall physical/physiological and mental health, our coping and our overall well-being. Accepting, unconditionally loving, respectful and overall positive, encouraging and supportive relations in particular throughout the span of our lives contribute positively to our personal overall health and well-being, balance, harmony and inner peace. 

As regarding inner peace and radiating peace outwardly, I apply the assumed proposition of Mahatma Gandhi (Payne, 1969) - that we need to be or to embody the change that we desire to see in the world. As he accentuated, and I believe firmly, we are each to take personal responsibility to cultivate and personify the changes - i.e., inner peace, radiating peace outwardly - that we wish to see in others and the world in general accordingly. In other words, we need to appreciate, understand and respond to ourselves through the lens of compassion and to cultivate inner peace accordingly and to then appreciate, understand and respond to others in similar fashion, to radiate peace outwardly.

As Mahatma Gandhi suggested (Payne, 1969), by embodying humane attributes in ourselves, we may influence affirmative social inclinations from others. In other words, as we present with intentional acceptance and empathy and with a compassionate response to others, others may respond likewise accordingly. Needless to say, however, a peaceful interchange does not necessarily always occur with everyone. In such cases whereby kindness and peace are not reciprocated, we may maintain our inner peace by accepting and maintaining perspective in such interactional outcome, acknowledging the reality of the other’s state of being in the world at the time while allocating respectful fitting social boundaries with them. This may include setting limits in nature of conversation we engage in, type of activity we may participate in and/or amount of time we choose to spend with them. Drama and toxic interactions can most certainly disrupt our inner peace. On the other hand, those inspired by a higher more spiritual consciousness toward personal and interpersonal peace will more likely be influenced by our presentation and invitation of compassion, interpersonal connection and belonging and unity. It is hoped that our relentless compassion and kindness in relation with ourselves and in interaction with others may contribute to a more so profound, harmonious and optimistic peaceful shift to our interactions and global social evolution and transformation. Nonetheless, at bare minimum, with optimism and courage, via our practice of compassion and inner and outwardly radiated peace, we eliminate each of our part in perpetuating a cycle of harm and suffering to ourselves and others.  

Till again, I leave an idea set forth by Mahatma Gandhi for your reflection: The greatness of our humanity is not so much in our being human but rather in our being humane (Payne, 1969). 

May compassion, love and peace be your compass.

References: Payne, R. (1969). The Life & Death of Mahatma Gandhi. New York, N. Y: Konecky & Konecky. 