Death is Not To Be Feared

In the Tarot deck, the death card can mean new beginnings. Something may be ending to start an exciting new beginning. I have come to see death as a new beginning, something not be feared.

Having witnessed my parents and in-laws transition to the next realm, I feel a deep urge to write about their journeys. While I haven’t had a near-death experience myself and cannot speak from that perspective, I can share my truth, beliefs, and how observing their passing has shaped my own understanding and beliefs about death.

No one wants to leave others behind, and no one wants to be left, but as my father-in-law said in his later years, “it’s the circle of life” I have since added: and we need to respect that circle rather than fear it.

My belief is that we have a soul circle group that is with us through many lifetimes. This group can show up in many different forms: sometimes someone can be your mother in one lifetime and then your child or sibling or close friend in another. This, in my belief, is why there are times when you meet someone for the first time and can instantly connect, like you have known each other for years.

When your circle of life is drawing to its end, my belief is that those in your soul group circle are there waiting to greet you. I have witnessed this beautiful interaction in a few different ways.

First there was my mother-in-law who passed, she was in hospice for 11 days with no food or drink. People who work in the hospice environment are earth angels. Even though the thought of not eating or drinking for 11 days seems horrific, she was not in any pain, they made sure of that.

She and her younger sister wanted to live to be 100. My mother-in-law was very competitive and did not want her little sister winning this one! She was 92 when her body decided that was not to be. You could see her resolve in wanting her body to stay on in human form, however there was another plan for her.

Watching her through those 11 days you could see she was having some small conversations with her soul group that were waiting for her to leave this realm. These did not seem like very friendly conversations on her side, they seemed like she was really fighting whatever they were saying to her. It felt that she really was giving her all out effort to make 100.

What was beautiful and amazing about her passing was that she was told her granddaughter was flying in on a certain day. If you think they can’t hear you when they are in that state, I believe they can, and she did. She waited for her granddaughter and about 2 hours after her granddaughter arrived at the hospice unit in the hospital, she passed. In her pride, I feel she did not want to pass in front of us. She waited to pass until we all had to leave the room when the nurses wanted to freshen her up. In between the nurses leaving and us coming in, she decided to let go.

I’m getting to the beautiful and amazing part. When her granddaughter and I walked back into the room, there was a green dental floss/tooth picker on the floor of her room. Right there in the middle as you walked in so you could not miss it. She always used these; however, it definitely was not there when we left the room, and the hospice workers did not use one. This was her way of saying she loved us and was finally ready to be with her soul group once more.

My father-in-law passed a few years later. He did not care to live to 100, although he was 95 at the time of his passing. He was the last of his generation to be on this planet, he was patient, and ready to join the others. He left us in a light-hearted, Sam only, way.

Sam lived in an assisted living facility and loved to go sit at the bar in the local restaurant with my husband. He would wear his WWII Veterans Hat each time. Yes, he was proud to be a vet, but mostly he liked the pretty ladies that came up to him to thank him for his service. The week he moved on to meet with his soul group he sat at the bar for dinner on Monday and on Wednesday hospice called to tell us we needed to say our good-byes. He was ready, he did it on his own terms – he wanted one more time to be approached by a lovely lady before left.

I got to his room before my husband and sat on the bed holding his hand. He had been given a good amount of morphine and was kind of in and out of consciousness. Each time he opened his eyes he would tell me how pretty I was or ask me if I was married. In one of his longer lucid moments he had a look on his face, so I said, “What are you thinking about?” He replied, “I’m thinking I want to make love to you!” That wasn’t what I was expecting, but not out of character for Sam, a ladies' man after his wife passed. Of course, he did not recognize who I was at that time, in his morphine state. I replied to him, “Oh, not now.” He shot back, “Why not!” Then he slipped back into his altered state. Sam passed early the next morning. We are grateful he left us with a funny story to look back on. There were no conversations with his soul group that we witnessed, I believe his firm belief in the circle of life and how ready he was, just allowed himself to go quickly and quietly.

My mother passed away a few years later following a five-year battle with cancer. Mom was absolutely not ready to meet with her soul group. She fought to the last second. You could see by her face, her expressions and the mumbled words she was saying that she did not want to hear what they had to say. She even shook her fist in the air a few times at them. We don’t know if mom just wasn’t ready, or she hadn’t had the time to sort out what she may have left unsaid or unforgiven on the earth plane. Her passing was very difficult to watch. I can only hope that she is at peace now in the arms of her soul group.

My dad passed a few years after my mom. He had been battling a heart condition then in December he fell and broke his neck. He tried very hard to recover from that injury for seven months, but an unexpected virus that he caught left him too weak. Three of the last four days of his time in this realm were beautiful to watch. You could clearly see the people he missed in his soul group coming forward by the expressions on his face. He comes from a 100% Polish background and spent many hours speaking in Polish during those days (he spoke Polish in childhood but as he got older he didn’t speak it as much but could still understand it when spoken to). At one time you could see he was kissing someone that just came into his view. There were a few times when you could see he was trying to bargain to stay a little longer, but then you could see him being comforted by whatever exchange was going on and his face would be calm again.

Through these very personal experiences that I witnessed my belief was deepened that there is love, light, and your soul group waiting for you when it is your time. With my parents and in-laws, we took comfort in that they were not suffering anymore. To lose a loved one unexpectedly or at an early age can seem senseless. My hope is that if someone has been taken from you too soon you may seek comfort in the possibility that they completed their task here on this planet and as much as they loved and love you still, needed to go back to their soul group. You are a part of their soul group and will see them again. In the meantime, look for the little signs they will leave you along the way like a penny, a feather, a little bird, or yes, even a tooth flosser/picker!

If you want to read a fantastic book on someone’s near death experience, I highly recommend reading Embraced by the Light by Betty J Eadie.

Another fantastic real life story book is 41 Signs of Hope by Dave Kane. Dave’s son was the youngest of 100 victims from the horrific Station Night Club Fire on February 20th, 2003 in Rhode Island. This beautiful book talks about all the signs his son leaves for him which has helped him and his family through this tragedy.